Why I left social media and what life is like now
Last year after I turned 30, I decided to quit Instagram and a few months after that, leave Facebook as well.
I’ll start off by saying that I don't think those social media platforms are inherently bad, but I feel they do not currently serve me during this period of my life.
Let me share with you 5 reasons why I left Instagram and Facebook, then talk about what life has been like since then.
Why I left social media
1. Losing my individuality and creativity
Firstly, I felt like I started to lose my own individuality and creativity and was paying more attention to what other people were doing in their lives.
Whether it was about the places they were hanging out, how they were running their business, or how they designed their homes, I was a lot more focused on the way others were living rather than tuning in and listening to my own needs and interests.
My 20s were a period of self-discovery and I've always really struggled to understand my taste in things. Social media only made this worse and made me more confused about who I am.
However, after a period of getting off Instagram and Facebook, I started to notice my own tastes emerge and had a much better understanding of my style. I could also better articulate the things that I like and don't like, whereas when I was on Instagram those thoughts were very clouded.
Nowadays I’m learning to take a step back and just let my creativity flow.
When I see content now, my first instinct is to check in with myself and ask how does the content make me feel and does it resonate with me? I also feel less internal pressure to follow trends!
2. Living my life through a screen
The second thing I started to notice was that I was living my life through a screen and feeling out of touch with reality. I wasn’t living very mindfully.
Everything online (especially on a platform like Instagram) is always so curated and edited. I subconsciously felt like my life had to always look perfect and be perfect in a strange way…
I was also living vicariously through other people. When I saw someone doing something that I want to do, my brain got a hit of dopamine and it felt like I'd taken the same action myself.
It was much easier to sit there on the couch and watch someone build their business, post a YouTube video, and work on their goals rather than take the time to work on my own life.
I was mindlessly scrolling through my feed even though there was nothing that was adding any particular value to my life. The content was a form of quick entertainment.
When things felt uncomfortable or when I had a challenging task in front of me, I would open Facebook and distract myself from dealing with that thing in my reality!
So basically I was spending more time distracting myself by watching other people do things that I wanted to do rather than taking action in my own life to achieve the goals that I wanted to achieve.
3. Delaying the achievement of my goals
Speaking of goals, being on social media definitely delayed the achievement of my goals. I felt like I was always consuming lots of information, which made me feel really overwhelmed.
Feeling overwhelmed led me to analysis paralysis and prevented me from taking action on the things I wanted to do.
During the many lockdowns we had in Melbourne, I had a lot of time to focus on my goals and dreams, but as life gradually started getting back to normal and things started opening up again, there were more things competing for my attention and that's when I found it really difficult to prioritise my time.
Now without the distraction of social media, I am planning out my days more intentionally and doing things like:
Setting aside 30 minutes every day to work on my YouTube channel after I finish my nine-to-five job.
Waking up earlier to exercise in the morning to support my mental health.
Saying no to social commitments to recharge when I need to.
I'm doing small things every day that have a positive compounding effect (classic concept from one of my favourite books, Atomic Habits by James Clear)!
4. Drained my energy
I felt like social media really drained my energy, especially when I was on Instagram. I was consuming a lot of short-form content.
To quote one of my favourite YouTubers, Jenn Im - short-form content feels like eating a packet of chips, the first few are really tasty, but the more you eat the more groggy you feel and if you finish the whole bag, you just feel really shitty about yourself!
At times it felt like I was feeding my brain a lot of useless content that was not educational, and consuming short bursts of entertainment that didn't add any value to my life. This really drained my mental energy over time.
5. Increased anxiety levels
The final thing social media did was increase my anxiety levels.
I couldn't help comparing myself to other people, even though I knew this was not the right thing to do.
Social media also inflated my ego!
I have always really enjoyed content creation and making my content look really aesthetic, but sometimes it felt like I was living two lives - trying to live in the present moment in my real life and also trying to curate the most aesthetic moments of my real life for my social profiles.
Sometimes I felt like a fraud because we all post the best bits of our days and the best bits of the events that we attend.
One time, Richard, Leo, and I went to a winery and Leo was just a puppy then. If you've raised a puppy before then you will know how challenging they can be!
Leo looking cute but being very cheeky at the winery!
There were moments where Leo was misbehaving and it wasn't a very relaxing day, but obviously, rather than sharing those difficult parts, I shared the best moments like the beautiful cheeseboard we had, the winery views, the wine, and cute shots of Leo. It made me feel not very authentic at times.
Life after social media
Living more mindfully after social media and really enjoying lots of time out in nature (sometimes with a glass of wine in hand!)
Since leaving social media, I've noticed three distinct phases:
Determination
Challenge
New Normal
PHASE 1: Determination
I call this first phase Determination because it was filled with positivity and I was determined to make this successful!
I felt like I was going on a juice detox and getting rid of something negative in my life. I was motivated to do it well and commit to exploring my creativity and self-discovery.
I was proud of myself for making a difficult decision to not be on social media, especially when a lot of people around me are still on those platforms.
I wanted this to be a really healthy and positive experience for me. Then came phase 2…
PHASE 2: Challenge
Phase 2 was the Challenge because eventually after a few months, I became increasingly bored.
It's funny because I grew up in a time when we didn't have social media! When I was a kid and I was feeling bored, I used to do things like create scrapbooks, write stories, blogging, and photography.
Being bored also meant I became confronted with certain questions about my life and where I was headed.
I had plenty of time to sit in reflection. Some of the questions I started asking myself were:
Am I happy with my career trajectory?
Where's my health at?
What do I want to achieve in the next five to ten years?
What actions am I putting off now that are going to have major consequences in the next few years?
Am I doing enough to create the life I want to live?
How have my priorities changed over the last few years?
Did what make me happy back then still make me happy now?
Very deep and meaningful…and slightly overwhelming!
PHASE 3: New Normal - my current phase
Reflecting on my progress over a cup of coffee at my favourite local cafe.
I'm really happy to say that I'm currently in the phase of the New Normal.
Sometimes I still have this inclination to really want to share things that happen in my life; however, I'm more focused on capturing the memories and the moment for myself and for people that I love, rather than sharing the experience with many people via social media or creating an impression for others about what my life is like.
When it does come to capturing my experiences, I think I do this more intentionally and less in a short-term happiness, ego-driven way.
I'm also feeling more confident in who I am as a person and have more clarity about my values. I’m taking life at a slower pace too.
For example, I used to wash the dishes and try to hurry this process up. Now, I focus on doing the task properly and mindfully. I’m grateful for having dishes to wash at home because that means I’m able to put food on the table!
Whether you’ve had a break from socials and are now back on, or are considering leaving, I hope this has reminded you to take the time to evaluate the role social media plays in your life.
No matter what decision you make regarding your social media use, listen to your intuition and have the courage to make tough decisions. If you notice it taking over your life or your thoughts, I challenge you to detox from it for a period of time and evaluate how you feel.
Give yourself a break from the endless stream of content and the space to re-discover yourself. You might be surprised at what you learn about yourself!
Share you thoughts
What role does social media play in your life and how does it make you feel? Comment below and let me know!
