7 mindset shifts that changed my life
How my perspectives have changed in my 20s vs. 30s.
My 20s were a decade filled with ups and downs, self-discovery, and overcoming challenges.
But I turned 30 last year and over the past 12 months, I’ve definitely experienced an internal shift, particularly with my mindset and perspectives about life.
It was as if my soul whispered, 'New decade, new you!'
I want to take you through the seven mindset shifts that shaped my transition from my 20s to embracing my 30s.
1. Goals no longer intimidate me.
During my twenties, I wanted to do so many things and was still discovering my identity, which mean that my interests and hobbies changed frequently.
This made it difficult to understand who I was and what I wanted from life, and therefore I found setting goals intimidating because I felt like I could never commit to achieving them.
Nowadays, I have a much clearer understanding of who I am as a person and what my priorities are.
I am better able to articulate what I want to achieve, break down larger goals, and create actionable plans to achieve these goals.
It’s hard to aim when you don’t know what you’re aiming for.
And in my twenties, I didn’t know what I was aiming for!
At one point I wanted to quit corporate and be a fashion influencer, I then wanted to travel and work overseas, but wanted to own a dog, then wanted to buy a house, but then didn’t want to be tied down by a mortgage…
You get the drift!
I can now with increased confidence say what I want to achieve in terms of my:
Career
Relationships
Health
Life purpose (to an extent)
In terms of having practical plans to help me achieve those things, I’m more realistic about what’s feasible for my lifestyle.
Some things I do are:
Blocking small segments of time out of my calendar for specific tasks.
Breaking down large goals into smaller achievable milestones.
Making time to celebrate small wins.
Expanding my thinking of what’s possible by reading books and listening to podcasts from people who have what I want.
Taking small actions daily is way more impactful than working for hours on something only a couple of times a month.
Working in silence
Speaking of goals, I now also don’t like to share my goals too publicly.
I want to hold that sacred space for me to fully explore my potential, fail and make mistakes while minimising judgement from others around me.
I much prefer to work on my dreams in silence.
2. Less comparison with other people.
Let’s be real, we all do it!
But I’ve definitely noticed that I don’t do this now as often as I used to in my twenties.
The biggest things that have helped me with this are getting off social media and prioritising self-care.
As I get older, I realise more that each person is on their own life path and no two people’s circumstances are exactly the same.
We all have different values, strengths, flaws, insecurities, memories, upbringing, relationship circles…
I learned that you never know what people are going through so it’s wrong to judge others based on what they choose to share with you on the outside.
Comparing yourself to others puts you in a space where your energy is way more focused on what’s happening externally around you and things outside your control, which is energy-draining and a waste of time.
3. I don’t wait for opportunities to come to me, I work for them!
In my twenties, I went through a very woo-woo spiritual phase where I believed ‘everything happens for a reason’ and ‘great things will come to me in time’.
“After this cycle ends…”
“When I’m a little older and have more experience…”
“When I’m more ‘ready’ to receive…”
I still believe things happen for a reason, but I’m much more proactive in going after the things that I want.
I’m still a spiritual person but in a more logical way if that makes sense!
I set my intention about what I want, create a plan to co-create this with the universe, and then just take action and go after what I want.
A goal without a plan is just a wish.
4. I’ve accepted that my opinions can drastically change over the years and my priorities will shift…and this is okay!
Self-discovery took so much time and energy in my twenties that I used to be more narrow-minded about certain things.
Once I ‘discovered’ I liked or disliked something or saw my life unfolding in a certain way, I felt like that was it.
For example, I had a period of time when I was certain I didn’t want children, now although I don’t feel ready, I am open to exploring this.
I used to be someone that had to go out every single weekend and do exciting things.
Although I still enjoy this now, I’m totally fine with having a quiet night in or not having grand plans every weekend - my focus is more to rest and recharge my energy rather than fear of getting FOMO if I miss out on something.
These shifts are pretty big for someone like me!
I’ve seen myself go through many changes in the past few years, so I’m more open to things changing as my life and priorities change.
After all, change is the only constant right?
5. I realise and respect the power of my mind - negative thoughts fuel negative experiences.
I’ve totally come to realise how powerful my mind can really be.
My thoughts trigger my emotions.
I think we all have the power to create our own reality and our thoughts have a huge part to play in this.
If we give in to negative thoughts frequently, we are being controlled by our minds.
I realised that I am actually in the driver’s seat of my own life - I can take the action I want to and decide how I want to show up in my life.
I can also choose how I speak to myself.
My thoughts used to be negative on auto-pilot.
But now I feel like I’ve reached a new level of consciousness in that I can sometimes take a step back and realise ‘Okay that was a bit mean’ or ‘That wasn’t very fair to say that to yourself’.
I’m also better at reframing my thoughts to show myself more kindness.
I’ve struggled so much with this during my twenties that I decided to become a Health Coach and support other people with managing their negative self-talk.
If you’d like some support with managing things like negative thought patterns and limiting beliefs, let’s catch up to chat more about how I can support you as a Holistic Health Coach.
6. I can feel the fear and do it anyway.
The number of times I have felt nervous and scared about going outside my comfort zone and it was totally worth it…I think I’ve lost count!
I’m constantly pushing my limits and potential and surprising myself.
I’ve done this at work and in my personal life.
I’ve also learned that sometimes you just need to fake it till you make it. The secret is that many people do this at some point in their lives!
Even people who have senior job titles or seem to have years and years of experience fake it till they make it at times.
Push past that initial fear and worry stage leading up to doing the thing and just do it! I’ve taken this approach in these situations in my life:
Facilitating workshops at work
Doing presentations to a large team or department
Hosting work meetings
Launching my coaching business
Coaching my first few clients
Hitting publish on those YouTube videos!
7. Screw what other people think.
In psychology, there’s a term called the spotlight effect and this is when we overestimate how much other people notice us in every situation.
We think the world revolves around us but in reality, most of the time, people have way too much going on in their own lives to pay that much attention to you.
As human beings, we also want to feel like we belong with other people and aren’t outcasts or alone.
But sometimes this means we care WAY too much about other people's opinions of us.
They may temporarily have opinions about what you do and how you live your life, but that’s always going to happen regardless of who you are and what you do.
You could try and be the nicest person to everyone, and they could feel like you’re being fake or overly polite.
If you’re logical and analytical, people could think you’re stubborn and narrow-minded.
If you’re spiritual, people could think you’re strange and airy-fairy.
There’s no winning with this!
So my focus now is to be as authentically me as possible and trust that in that process, I will attract the right people into my life.
The people in my life don’t have to understand or agree with my decisions, but as long as they are supportive and want the best for me, that’s all I can ask for!
At the end of the day, I want to look in the mirror and feel proud of who I am and I want to tell myself that I gave myself the best chance to live my life to the fullest.
I hope this post gives you some food for thought! I encourage you to take some time and reflect on the power of your mind.
Remember, our thoughts create our reality.
Share you thoughts
How has your mindset changed over the years? What has been the most helpful shift?
